Growing up my dreams changed. I used to not want to have kids. I didn't care about getting married. I wasn't ambitious about the personal side of life. However, my career dreams were outrageous. Then I grew up. I met Jesus. My dreams kept changing but a few things became constant in what I wanted out of life... First, I wanted a husband. A best friend to stand with me. Hand in hand. Side by side. For better or worse. As long as we both shall live. Now, here I am coming up on our first wedding anniversary. It still doesn't even feel real sometimes.
The next dream I had was a house. Nothing fancy but big enough to accommodate us and four kids one day. Nice backyard for the kids to play in. Decent back porch with a swing. Maybe a garden in the front yard... Nice big kitchen table where we would always eat dinner as a family.
Then of course, as previously mentioned four kids. Obviously, I changed my mind on that too. Oh and my big outrageous career dream now? Stay-at-home mom and housewife. That's right. Cleaning house. Cooking (which is no big cause I L-O-V-E cooking), running errands, setting the tone of the home.... and all of the hundreds of other jobs ties into those titles.
Pretty simple dream right? Yet somehow.... that simple dream seems impossible to achieve. The economy sucks. When you get the better job its still not enough and yet you are watching everyone else with the same situations have everything almost handed to them.
Don't get me wrong. I know there are some people that are working hard and killing themselves to have the same dream but it seems like no matter how hard we try, we can never get where we want to be. Something always happens. Something always hits us. Something always comes and pulls us two or ten steps back... we get excited over a promotion or a better job only to find out that we still can't afford life.
I love my husband and I know without a doubt that he loves me, but you can't live on love. We just want our simple dream. We want to be able to have our own house. We want to be able to "afford" kids one day. I know they say you can never really "afford" kids but I just mean we can at least still make ends meet with them.
On very rare occasions we have hope. Then something rips it away or like most days we just feel like hard isn't the right word.... like its more along the lines of impossible. Our simple dream is impossible to achieve. That seems about right...
Ever feel like giving up?
-Kelcy J.
