For starters, I just want to say that if you judge me for this post, we are no longer friends.
I would like to tell you a story about my friend George and I. You see it all started when George decided to make his webbed home in our bush beside our door. I noticed one day that unlike most spiders that make webs on houses or porches, George didn't pack up and leave the next day or next week. George stayed. See George and I had boundaries. He stayed in his web and we stayed friends. As long as he was always there and in his web, George got to live. However, if George ever decided to disappear, he would become just like every other spider and the next time I saw him, he would have to die. So after about a month of George being here, increasing the size of his web and greeting us as we came home.... George disappeared.... Leaving only his web behind.....
Oh why George? Oh why...? You see this meant that if he returned.... George would have to be put to death..... Now if you don't know me I hate spiders so I thought we had a reasonable agreement on boundaries...
So tonight, after about three or four days.... George returned.... This might be too gruesome for some of you to continue reading....
My husband comes in and informs me that George has returned and I got ready to go outside and kill him. However, I was overcome with this weird excitement and said "HEY THERE GEORGE! How ya doin??". George of course had no reply but as I was getting ready to kill him.... I stopped. I just couldn't do it.... I HAVE ACTUALLY BEFRIENDED A SPIDER TO THE POINT THAT I CAN'T KILL HIM!!!!
Something has gone seriously wrong with my brain..... so.... ladies and gentlemen..... *******
These words were going to be followed by a picture and an introduction to George the spider... but I regret to inform you all that as I got close and blew (a little) on George to make him wiggle so I could find him on the camera.......... well...... George fell off and into the bush somewhere.... I ran.... just because I like George does not mean I trust George.... apparently George shouldn't trust me.....
THE END
